I Can't Believe It's Not Butter
by Thursday Addams
Summary: After Roy Mustang becomes a millionaire from winning a sweepstakes Riza is assigned to live with him to keep him from getting distracted from his duties. Will Riza be able to handle the play boy ways and egotism brought on by Roy's money? RizaRoy


I can't believe it's not butter Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own FullMetal Alchemist, or I can't believe it's not butter.

This is my first ongoing RizaRoy fic, and although I've written other ongoing pairing fics before, I'm going to experiment with my style a little on this, so I'd really appreciate feedback.

Roy Mustang rolled out of his twin sized bed in his tiny military apartment to the sound of his alarm on a bright Monday morning. His messy hair and unshaved face went well with his wrinkled military pajamas. He stumbled over to his fridge and pulled out some bread. He grabbed two slices out of the bag and put them in the toaster. While he was waiting for his toast to pop up, he pulled the container of "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!" out of his fridge. He preferred the taste of real butter, but a proper diet was important to maintaining his physical fitness, and his physical fitness was important to becoming Fuhrer. He opened the container and set it down on the counter so he could pull open drawers to search for a clean butter knife with both of his hands. After finding one, he was just about to plunge the knife into the heart of the buttery container, when something on the lid caught his eye.

"Dear customer, congratulations, you have won the 'I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!" million dollar give away sweepstakes!"

Roy blinked at the container and rubbed all of the sleep out of his eyes to make sure he was reading correctly. He picked up the container and examined it more closely to make sure this wasn't some sort of joke. After deciding that the jubilant message on his butter was legit, Roy let out a loud whoop and began to dance around his kitchen while laughing maniacally.

"WHOOOOOOOOOO! I'M A MILLIONAIRE! I CAN USE MY NEW FOUND POWER AND STATUS TO RISE TO THE RANK OF FUHRER EVEN FASTER! AND THINK OF ALL THE GIRLS I'LL BE ABLE TO GET!" Roy shouted happily. Just as he was about to let out another loud whoop, his toaster popped the toast out of its slots and flung the bread straight into Roy's forehead. It brought him back to reality and reminded him that he still had to get to work. He moved through his morning activities with a furious kind of joyous energy, eagerly anticipating the looks on his coworkers' faces when he told them the news.

Roy walked down the halls of the military base with a spring in his step, and a hand places firmly and protectively on the lid in his pocket. He cast suspicious looks toward the other military personnel every now and again, to make sure no one tried to make a move on his precious million dollar lid. Roy burst through the doors of his office practically radiating ultra violet greed. He found his lieutenants sitting around at the table discussing the events of their weekends. Hardly able to contain his news, Roy asked,

"So, how were your mornings?"

"Sir, this morning I-" Fury began before being interrupted by Mustang.

"I'm glad to hear it, but you just can't top MY morning. Look what I got!" Roy said proudly displaying the lid that relayed the message of his new fortune.

"WHAT?" All of his lieutenants said together, their mouths dropping. Havoc's face became flooded with jealous tears at the news. It seemed he could never win against the Colonel.

"Gee, so what are you going to do first with your money?" Breda asked.

"Well first he has to GET the money," Riza Hawkeye interrupted from the corner of the room. "I assume you have to call them and there will be some sort of ceremony to present the check."

"She's right. I guess I'll be spending my afternoon tomorrow making a fortune," Roy said with an arrogant smirk. He rushed over to the phone on his desk and dialed the number on the front of the lid. After calling the company to confirm, he learned that they would be arriving at the military headquarters in Central the following day to present his check. The rest of his afternoon went by horribly slow. He passed the time by performing trivial tasks such as breathing on spotless windows in order to have a smudge to clean. He was happy to boast about all the glamorous things he would do with his money to anyone who would listen with jealous ears.

After what felt like an eternity to Roy Mustang, the next day finally arrived. There was a knock on the door of his office, and Fury sped over to the door to answer it. A beefy man in a gray tuxedo with a large white mustache answered.

"I'm looking for Roy Mustang, winner of our sweepstakes," the man explained. Fury let the man and his entourage in. He was followed by two girls in short yellow dresses.

"Mr. Roy Mustang, it is an honor for me and the I Can't Believe It's Not Butter girls to present you with this check for one million dollars!" The man said handing Roy an oversized check. Confetti fell from the air and cameras flashed as Roy accepted the check and put his arm around the girls. He whispered something dirty in the ear of the brunette on his right, only to notice the ring on her finger afterwards. After the people from I Can't Believe It's Not Butter left his office, the door was opened by another glamorous visitor.

"Fuhrer Bradley, Sir!" Roy said straightening himself up and saluting.

"At ease, Mustang. I see you've won some sort of sweepstakes. Congratulations. I hope you have fun with your money, while putting it to good use," The Fuhrer said winking with his good eye, "But I fear this money may serve as a distraction for you from your military duties. That's why I'm assigning Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye to live with you in the mansion I'm sure you'll buy."

"With all due respect Sir-" Riza said trying to object.

"With all due respect Lieutenant Hawkeye, I'm sure you understand that you're the perfect candidate to keep Colonel Mustang on track of his military duties. I'm also sure you understand why I have to order this," The Fuhrer said with a knowing look. Riza wasn't sure how to argue with the Fuhrer, so she kept her mouth shut. Mustang was too involved with his thoughts of how he was going to use his money to object, and so that's how Riza and Roy's beautiful but troubled relationship began.


End file.
